[02-Jul-11] I can't seem to grasp that I'm already back in Kenya. I have a hard time believing that I was in South Africa for a week but at the same time I feel like I was there for so long. I made so many new friends and came to love the culture and the people. I don't know if I've ever fallen in love with a place like I did there. Maybe it was just because I had been in the bush for so long and so anything was better, but I absolutely loved my time there. The people were so welcoming and the kids were so much fun to play with. I also came to love the language. South Africa has over 11 recognized national languages, but where we were Afrikaans was predominately spoken. It is such a cool language. It has a lot of similarities to German and Dutch because it is a mixture of the native African and the Dutch that the whites speak. I used to think German was a guttural language, but Afrikaans blows it out of the water. I had so much fun learning bits of the language and then using it while we were working with the kids! It always caught them off guard and whatever it was that I told them in Afrikaans, they did right away. I could tell them over and over in English to be quite and they would stop for a few seconds but then they would always start again. However, as soon as I told them in Afrikaans, they gave me this wide-eyed look and stopped talking until we were done. It was wild how much more respect they gave you when you spoke their language. I feel like that is the same for anyone though. If you're coming into someone else's home and you’re speaking a language that is secondary to them, then they aren't going to give you as much respect. However, if you can come in and speak their primary language, not only do you impress them, but you also gain their respect. I don't know if I will get to go back, but if I do I will definitely make sure to try and learn some more Afrikaans before I go there. I picked up a good bit just during that one week so I figure if I could sit down and really study it out then I could get it pretty fast. And considering that I already have a good base from German, I should be able to pick up the structure fairly quickly (at least that is my hope).
I realize that these feelings of wanting to go back could just be because I just came from there and now I'm going back into the bush. But as it stands right now, I feel as if I could live there, in South Africa. I know it's crazy to be thinking like that right now but that's how I feel at this present moment. Granted I've only been out of SA for 2 days now so it will take the test of time to see if these feelings are God given and its part of His plan or if it's just me. I have so many ideas though for going back there. I found myself thinking today that I could finish out my degree, and possibly find an engineering job in Cape Town. I don't want to live with the whites though. I want to live in the developments where the colored people are. I was wondering what I would do as far as serving God's kingdom there and I felt as if maybe these thoughts of going back to SA are not from Him. I had an idea though pop into my head and it made my heart jump at the possibilities. I know its way too early to say one way or the other but I can assure you that I will be praying about these things. The idea that I got was focused around discipleship. To me, that is the most important thing and so if I am going to consider the possibility of living in SA then I had to ask myself how discipleship would be involved. I started thinking about that and that is when the idea came to me. During the past week we had been ministering to the young children, kids that were no more than 14 or so. I had an absolutely wonderful time playing with them and playing with them but when I started thinking about it, it was the older kids that I really connected with. I was always hanging out with the kids that were 15 to 18 and I loved being with them. It occurred to me that is a huge ministry opportunity. I have no idea what the churches there are already doing in terms of the teenagers but the idea of going back and discipeling the teens makes me very excited. I found that a lot of them are just like teens here; they are going to church and learning but when it comes to application in their lives they are missing the point. There is that compromise between giving your life fully to God and still living in the world like most everyone their age does. What if I could go and get a house and open it up during the week to the teens to be able to come, hang out, be in a safe environment, learn about God, and spend time ministering and worshiping together. Not only would it be a safe place for them to come, but it could also be a place for them to bring their friends that aren't Christians where they could just play and have fun with the end purpose of getting them into a discipleship class of some sort. I feel like I might have jumped the gun here and gone completely off my rocker but these are just my thoughts right now. I know that there is probably a lot of time between now and when I get to go back so during that time these ideas will be put to the test. That's one thing I've learned about divine ideas, if they are really divine and anointed ideas, then they will continue to find their way into your head. I will continue to pray to see if these are my ideas or God's ideas. Whether I go back and stay there or not, I most definitely want to go back for another VBS!
It has been such a hard transition coming back to Kenya. My mind has been so confused and I've felt so emotionally drained. That's led to me feeling physically exhausted from trying to process everything. Last night I became so home sick that I could hardly stand it. I don't know if it was a complete breakdown, but it was bad. It isn't so much that I miss the States, but that I miss the people there. After spending just a week with the team from Briarlake I felt like I was a part of their family and I didn't want that time to end at all. It was so much fun to be in South Africa with them and see their hearts for those kids as well as just share life together. Now that I've had to leave all of them though, I can't stop thinking about my family and all my friends that I haven't seen in so long. I just want to be back with them. I'm so thankful that today we were doing something almost all day. God knew that if I had all day to just sit around and think then it would have been a very long day! And I have almost no doubt that I would have had another break down. I know that another 42 days, in reality, isn't that long. However, I don't want to be here right now so it is making it seem like forever! I know though that God has a purpose for me. I know that I wouldn't be here if there was not something for me to here. What it is that God still has to teach me and use me for I have no idea, but I do know that I am going to make sure I am completely open to what God has for me to do. I know that He is and will always be with me during the rest of my time in Africa (and the rest of my life) and so I can take comfort and find peace in that knowledge. I trust Him and if it were not for God, then I would not be in Africa right now. Many times I've thought that if it were not for God sending me here, then there is no way I would have come. Just the fact that I've made it so far without sickness or major injury along with the many blessings and lessons that He has lavished on me is proof enough that my time here is anointed. I would be foolish to look past it and not receive completely what God has for me. And so with that, I say God, I know that this might be hard, but you are with me to the end and so I will not fear what is to come.
[4-Jul-11]I want to insert a bit here just as time has gone on. Some of the high that I came off of from SA has died down now. I just don’t want to make any of you think that I’ve gone crazy with these ideas of living in SA. I still think it would be an awesome idea but as these passions are calming down, it is going to be up to God to bring them back to me when the time is right. Like I mentioned before, these all sound like great ideas but what truly matters is prayer coupled with the test of time.
No comments:
Post a Comment